Lucy

This is Lucille Anne Joppie (Lucy)

 I have had Lucy since she was a little itty bitty kitty. I got her when I was 22- she was the third cat ever that I owned. I always wanted a cat but my mother hates cats- i think she may hate cats even more than she hates dirt and my mother really hates dirt. One of the first things I did as soon as I was free and clear of my mother and able to was to get a cat- my life long dream. My first cat was Olivia- I bought her at a pet store on Montgomery Drive for about $50-$75 dollars- she was not fixed yet. Olivia was not very happy about life at my house- she constantly peed under my roommates desk on the downstairs floor (thats to let you know that there were two floors in this apartment). Anywho i caught the flu one day and was terribly terribly sick but despite this i kept Olivia's appointment with the vet to get fixed- it was the Affordable vet and it was one of those clinic things where the procedure is cheaper because they are doing a shit load of animals at the same time- why this is cheaper i don't know. I got up early that morning with my runny nose and high fever and drove Olivia to the vet all the way across town- she shit in the carrier (i did not know this was abnormal behavior at the time) I left her at the vet and drove all the way home and laid down on the couch with my congested sinuses and dozed off- a few hours later a woke up to the phone ringing- it was the vet- something had gone terribly wrong during the procedure- she must have had some kind of heart problem he did not know about- the vet had a very thick german accent so it was hard to for me to grasp what was happening right away but the upshot was that they killed my cat- i drove back across town to confirm my cat was dead and pick up the cat carrier which they had washed out. They cremated her for free- i still have her ashes somewhere- actually scratch that i think i gave it charity- it was in a nice wood box.

Lucy came fixed- no i take that back- no she did not. But she was my third cat not my second. His name was Rudy- I adopted him from the pound for $100- i no longer had a roommate. Since Rudy had all his shots and was already fixed he was much easier to keep alive- i had to sign a contract with the pound not to let Rudy outside cause he had a pink nose and pink tips on his ears and he would sunburn easily. I kept Rudy alive for a whole six months before I convinced myself that Rudy needed a companion- he must be lonely. I was working at Summerfield Convalesent and trying to go to school and i went to meetings every night and well Rudy was alone too much- he really really needed a cat.

Enter Lucy. Lucy was from litter of kittens that my friend Rachel's neighbor's cat had spawned- it was probaly her fifth litter- in fact she was probably Olivia's moma too. Concidence? I had a hosuewarming party for the apartment i was living in on Marlow- it was a little ghetto and the hosuewarming party was 5-6 months after i actually moved in but i got two tea pots that whistled out of it and afterwards Rachel brought over Lucy the kitten- OH MY GOODNESS- Lucy was a really cute kitten. I wish i could tell you that me and lucy instantly bonded but that would be a complete lie- Lucy peed on my clothes A LOT and was extremely skittish and not cuddly- I was still pretty inexperienced with animals (or relatiosnhips at all) so I am sad to tell you i was probably inappropriately rough with Lucy sometimes when she was a kitten- i lost my patience and i don't think that Rudy offered much comfort for poor Lucy either- he was full grown when i got her and he was a big boy and he would bat her around like she was a rag doll. I had a couch with the side ripped out (i lived off of salvation army furniture and such) and my cats used to like to crawl in the side to hide in the couch- i would have to lift the couch up on one side and move it vigorously up and down to get them out- why i ever HAD to get my cats out of the couch i can't remember but for some reason i did a lot.

I moved after three years. Lucy stopped peeing on my clothes and other than to feed her i just did not notice her that much- she was not super cuddly- i gave all my love and attention to Rudy. I moved in with a bunch of guys in the middle of Roseland on West Ave- the ghetto of Santa Rosa. I lived in a bedroom in a house full of boys for approximately 1 year. Rudy ran away. Lucy became the only cat I had. I discovered after Rudy ran away that Lucy had a personality- that she was actually very cuddly and affectionate and that she was quite nice to be around- I became fond of Lucy.

I moved again. I got rid of the roommates. It turns out i did not like them. I moved into a little granny unit in someone's back yard. I took lucy with me. I lived on Derby Lane for 5 years. I had several other cats. There was Henry (another unhappy match)- he died mysteriously in the middle of the night when he was six months old- Lisa and Josh came over and took his body. I never asked what they did with it.

Owen Franklin Hannity

I got Owen shortly after I broke up with Marty.

Marty talked a lot and so did Owen- Owen was kind of like a replacement kitty for Marty.

Marty and I got back together and Owen loves loves loves Marty. About a year ago I finally let go of my fantasy of being Owen's owner and officialy gave custody of Owen over to Marty.

For a while I became a weird cat lady and owned three cats.

Annabella Sophia Hannity

This was the third cat. I got her from a friend who adopted her from the pound even though her live in boyfriend was allergic to cats. She had to find a home for poor Annabella. I took her in.

Lucy did not much care for other cats.

but she got use to them after a while.

Throughout the years I have become fonder and fonder of Lucy. She is my heart- I had such a hard time letting things matter in my life-  jobs, my money, my opportunities, people, places. I had such a bad habit of being dismissive of all these things- of mistreating them- passing them by on my way to something better or different or less challenging. I hardly even realized it was happening but I let Lucy matter to me- the longer she stuck around the more i liked her and then i ended up loving her and then she ended up mattering to me.

So anywho my long blog about lucy is because lucy has been diagnosed with cancer- fast growing cancer that only leaves her a few months to live.

I love my little Lucy so much- i am heart broken that i must lose her. I am heartbroken that something so precious to me is leaving, now when everything is so happy and wonderful- now when I have found love and happiness my little Lucy is going away. I really have an inappropriate amount of affection for this cat. I don't know how many nights i cried myself to sleep for whatever number of reasons and lucy would come and sleep next to me. Now when I hardly find anything to cry about at all Lucy is leaving. What will I do with out Lucy? I miss her already. Its late and I am in sitting in my house in Forestville with my wonderful fiance -Lucy is curled up on the floor and Eric is watching stupid t.v.- good night to any who actually read my silly blog and if such a thing as a reader of this blog is out there if you ever lost something that mattered please send a comfoting wish my way. I think losing lucy is like loosing a little bit of my heart- i hope though i will always be lucky enough to let things matter. good night.

Engaged

 

I was expecting dinner with DJ not this on Sunday night. Eric asked me to marry him and i said yes and it was all very romantic and unexpected and everything i ever wanted and a surprise and right on time and the best ever all wrapped into one. So tonight as i sit down to write this blog i am wearing an engagement ring on my left hand and you don't get to see it because me and Eric can not figure how to turn the flash off on my camera and pictures with the flash just are not turning out because the diamond is soo huge and shiny. I always thought he would ask me on a Tuesday but it turned out sunday was better. So now for the next 15 months i will be planning a wedding- i have never planned a wedding so i already feel a bit out of my league- someone who knows about these things will definetly be consulted- the date will be 12/11/2010, its a Saturday and we already decided that DJ, the dinner guest that was expected and already knew eric would be asking me, will perform the ceremony.  When Eric asked me i broke out in a sweat- it was very unattractive but i couldn't help it- it was like every single cell in my body was excited and in shock- i had to take a shower when i finally calmed down enough to do such a thing- but you know how i love showers, even though during this shower i just stared at the ring on my finger! I have not stopped being excited- i couldn't sleep and i woke eric up at 4:44am and asked if we could have our first breakfest together as an engaged couple- Eric was such a good sport he agreed! Our first breakfest together on our first full day of engagement was a goat cheese and bacon omelette with hash browns. I'm still pretty amped up and wedding planning looms before me and even though i know that there is two of us involved when i think of what i want my wedding to be i am super clear- I know that for so many years it was painful to watch me- it was painful for my family to witness my childhood and adolescent years and even after i got into recovery it was hard work and lots of struggles. On my wedding day I want all the people who love me to be gathered and to celebrate that this skinny blond girl who was so lost for so long, who hurt so much, is getting married and has found happines- that there was another side to all that stuff i went through and on the other side was Eric Joppie and a relationship full of love and happiness.    

   And when i think of my marriage i know exactly how i want it to go- i want a partnership- i want thousands of morning waking up next to my best friend, next to the love my life, i want us to be a witness to each others life- i think we all need a witness to our lives in some way or another.

   OH MY GOSH- i am a complete ball of cheese right now- i'm going to go watch stupid t.v. and then eric and i are going to make butterscotch cookies and i will cookie dough and fall sleep and wake up tomorrow and show off my engagement ring to everyone at work. good night.

first cello lesson

Today was the day of my first cello lesson. Today is my day off (for now) and I normally would have liked to have slept in at least to, oh say, 12ish but because of circumstances too complicated for me to bother to explain I had to work for two hours in the office today- I like saying "the office" because it makes me sound important which in the big scheme of things I am not so much but never the less is still like sounding like I am- anywho I was not going to drive back and forth to Forestville to get my cello so I took my newly rented cello with me- I went to "the office" for my two hours 10:30am- 12:30pm- I went to my weekly "appointment" at 1pm for an hour- (we all know that appointments that happen every week for an hour are called therapy but I continue to refer to it as an appointment in general conversation and apparently in this blog as an appointment as if its some kind of dirty secret that I like 60% of the US population am in therapy) and after my "appointment" I headed toward cello. I had to bring my cello inside with me at my "appointment" because it was hot out and the place I rented the cello from told me not to leave it in a hot car and I'm paranoid. anyways as I was pulling into the drive way of my cello teacher her neighbor yelled at me about being in the driveway at all and I parked on the street instead but other than a grumpy next door neighbor who is over protective of her shared driveway the cello lesson was an all around success and I am super excited about the endeavor.
I would like you to know that starting a hobby such as the cello is not cheap- I thought up this idea about two years ago and even went so far as to contact someone in the area about cello lessons at which time she told me where to rent a cello- it didn't happened than but I thankfully remembered her directions from two years ago for the shop to rent from- if I had not remembered these directions I simply do not know what I would have done because the shop I rented from is this super secret hard to find not labeled as such place in downtown Santa Rosa- you have to go to a certain building up the stairs- follow the faint whiff of rosin you will smell down the hall, give the secret pass word and voila you are in the only store in Santa Rosa that rents out cellos. Cellos have props- for instance it came to my attention today that I was going to need a music stand- I thought that a place that rents cellos may also have such an item as a music stand but I was very wrong about this- they do not- they rent cellos and violins and probably violas and that is all- no string instrument accessories- thank god a bow came with the cello. I was able to find a music stand after my first lesson at a shop in Sebastopol- by that time I also needed a metronome, a Suzuki Cello book for beginners and a tuning fork- I got out of there at $80.00, rental of cello $45/monthly, cello lesson $65/ weekly- learning to play a string instrument . . . priceless? hmm we will see.

 

my cello

 

my new music book, tuning fork, and metronome

 the cheapest music stand i could find

after all the excitement of the cello lesson i drove home, took a nap, ate dinner, wrote this blog, and now i'm going to go balance my bruised budget than sensless t.v until eric gets home from work at which time i will shower him with kisses and go to bed. good night.

showering

     I am an exceptional showerer- I know its in the "About Me" part of this blog because I just completed the "About Me" part of this blog but I felt that I should expand on the statement that I am good at taking showers. First of all the word good is an understatement- i am fucking awesome at this particular activity- taking an shower is an event for me- i love spending way too much time and precious water resources showering- basking in a spray of warm water, shaving, cleaning my face, scrubbing my whole entire body with excellent smelly soap and than soaking my hair in some ridiculus amount of shampoo and conditioner- and than there is the after shower part of the event- the face getting toned with some overpriced salon product and picking out which scent i will reek of and inevitably spread to my bed sheets. Will it be lavender oil? rose oil? cocomut oil? suger lotion? moutain lotion? jasmine oil? So exciting- seriously I can hardly stand it- the whole thing takes me from beginning to end about an hour at the end of which I like to fall into my comfy bed and at the very least snooze.
     I even like thinking about showers and obviously this whole entire post is about the great showers I take. Before I moved in to my little place in Forestville with Eric i lived in this granny unit studio apartment that involved propane for the important heating functions- water heater, wall heater. Anywho when I first moved in there i did not know anything about propane or the tank they came in or where they were located in relationship to my cottage or what there exact function was in my little cottage. Since the cottage had been vacant for about a month before I moved in my landlord had turned the water heater to vacation mode and I guess they forgot to turn it back when I moved in. Like I said I knew nothing about propane heaters so for the next years i lived with a shower on vacation mode- the water would never get warmer than tepid and it would only last about 2 minutes- not nearly enough time for the basking i require or not nearly hot enough- i usually like more water scalding. I resorted to showering at the gym which could get awkward as I stood in my stream of hot water for an inappropriate amount of time and finally i started asking my friends if I could shower at their houses- of coursse not near there shower times since there was never any hot water left over when i was done- some of my friends even went for it and let me shower- finally someone was kind of enough to suggest i check the setting on my water heater and after searching for about an hour i located the water heater (outside of the cottage right by the shower amazingly enough) and turned my water heater up- the remaining four years i lived at said cottage i enjoyed hot water showers for longer than two minutes. Its a story with a happy ending.
   I was going to take a picture of my ridiculous amount of shower and after shower products but i don't know where my camera is and eric is irritated that the Alfredo i made him cook for me for dinner has gotten cold and been neglected becasuse of blogging- it is tuesday- i asked eric to ask me to marry him on a tuesday- he has not hinted at anything all day but just in case i checked the alfredo dinner for a ring that he may have hid in the mass of noodles- there was not one. good night